


Alone

by littlemaple



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Depressive Thoughts, Existential Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 08:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12339066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemaple/pseuds/littlemaple
Summary: Lance and Keith bond over the fact that to a certain extent, we are all alone.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is just a small vent fic i wrote earlier today and decided to share here as well. it's also posted on my voltron side-blog allurahah @ tumblr
> 
> if you read, please let me know if you liked it!

Sometimes it was hard to process everything.

Lance watched the stars from the windows in the control room. He stared at the dark sky dotted with billions of shiny dots, and he knew there were so many planets around those stars, and he knew there were so many people in each of those planets, and he knew he was right there thinking all that and he was so small and so insignificant to the universe when it came to his personal existence, and it was all really too overwhelming.

He let out a shaky breath, holding on to his own self in a tight awkward hug.

Ever since he could remember he’d get those bursts of aloneness from time to time. Lately they were more often, maybe because he was seeing in a daily basis how much larger and alive the universe really was. And it was scary. And it was lonely. Because how could he talk about that to any of his friends? Would they understand if he said he was feeling lonely, scared, frightened, really, by the mere thought of being alive, of what it meant (or didn’t), scared of the fact that as a creature that is alive he was bound to die and he was bound to die alone no matter what even if someone was holding his hand, because the process would be only his to feel - his life, his existence, it was only his to feel, and even if he talked about it, shared the moment with friends, he’d still be alone, he’d still have to think about it and process it alone, on his own, by himself, and would they understand?

And it was so overwhelmingly frightening.

He didn’t want to be alone.

And how, how could he say all that? He didn’t want to explain it because he didn’t want to depress his friends or worry them, and he didn’t want to only say “I’m lonely” either, because they wouldn’t understand, and maybe even misunderstand and he just…

It was too much.

He let out yet another shaky breath, waiting for that moment to pass, for that sense of awareness of his existence to go away, just like when you think about breathing and then can’t breath mechanically anymore, so you have to keep thinking about breathing until you forget to think about it, but it is okay because you body can do it on its own anyway so you will keep breathing but you won’t be aware of it anymore, which is nice. Those moments were like that: Lance just had to hold on and sit very still and eventually he would get distracted and those feelings would go away.

And while they didn’t he allowed his tears to quietly fall down his cheeks and allowed his lip to tremble and his chest to hurt.

Because it would go away.

He heard quiet footsteps behind him and shrunk in his corner, guilty and embarrassment washing over him as if he was doing something awful.

“Lance? What are you doing up at this hour?”

It was Keith.

Lance gulped but didn’t turn. He didn’t try to wipe away his tears either because then Keith would notice them.

“Nothing, I just can’t sleep.” he said with a shrug.

Keith came closer and sat next to him on the floor by the large windows, “Me either. You’re thinking about the mission tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Lance lied.

Keith looked at him and he definitely noticed how much of a mess Lance was, because his eyes went a bit wide, but he didn’t say anything. He hugged his knees and looked to the sky as well, to the infinite suns, to the infinite life.

“It’s kinda lonely.” Keith said after a long, awkward silence.

“Huh?”

“The universe.” he looked down at his bare feet, “It’s… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s… Being alive, it’s… a lonely thing. You can’t share your entire experience with anyone else, ever.” Lance said quietly, very quietly, after another long moment. His cheeks were all pink and he was ready to run away from that situation at any second now. His heart was racing and he felt exposed.

“That’s deep.” Keith said with a small smile, but he nodded, “I guess so. It’s really lonely. But at least you can share bits of it, you can share as much as you can. So you won’t be as lonely. I don’t know how to put it, but… you share parts of you… and people share parts of them… and you’ll still be alone but there’ll be a connection. I don’t know. It’s hard for me to do that anyway.” he sighed, looking down at his hands, “I feel really disconnected. From other people, I mean.”

Lance stared at him for a long second, the tears drying on his skin, leaving a weird sensation. He stared at Keith and he felt a little less lonely.

He touched Keith’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“You can share bits to me.” he offered, “And I can share bits of me. So we can connect.”

Keith blinked, his eyes getting watery. He half-smiled and fully nodded before looking away, cheeks also pinky.

Together they felt less alone.


End file.
